When I am out of my element, I find comfort in the strangest things, the logic of a well organized bag, the memories associated with a favorite mug, or the familiarity of a frequented website. A friend who used to go on tour a lot called it his OCD moment. He would run through a list of things he shouldn't forget multiple times throughout the day. Keys, wallet, cellphone, gear. He described it as similar to Nomar's nervous twitches before he got up to bat.
I found myself straddling between two worlds this past week, one of newness, hope and risk. The other consisted of the past, all the warm memories and comfort in recalling what has come before. It is a strange place to be. There is an unfettered amount of hope and change, but I find I need something that grounds me to my identity. A definition of who I am in a place that I have no real history with.
I started this week so nervous about the project. It is still very vague and ambiguous as to what I will be doing. And it is only for 6 months, which seems like a long time especially after my last job, but the average NGO moves slower than the corporate world. The need for patience is something I am actively harnessing. I told the guys at Quest that I just want to listen and absorb the first week. I want to talk to everyone in the office, organize some structured interview sessions and just read content. I want to understand the culture and ultimately fit into it, but I also am weary of tainting the pot. I don't want to bring the corporate world sprint to an organization that seems productive enough and happy to boot. If anything, that is my big lesson to learn, how to manage a healthy work environment.
The key to this work is relationship building. Much of what I will be testing is my ability to open up to my coworkers. It takes courage and is something I am not wholly comfortable with. I have always thought of myself as a worker bee, dedicated to a project, knowing that it probably isn't balanced but never having a name for the problem. But now I am starting to understand. Brian, one of the fellows, passed along some advice, he said I should step forward as me first and designer second. He's right, I have never done it that way. I have always tried to prove to myself or to others that I can get shit done, that adding me to a team was a good choice. It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive.
I like this NGO space I have found myself in. It is a space of open source and collaboration. Competition is seen as opportunity for partnerships. Learnings are learnings for everyone and should be shared to benefit the greater good. There is no IP and no overarching ego. Collaboration is the elbow grease and empathy is the engine. It may not be as productive as what I have been apart of in the past and challenges will surely unfold, but the tone seems healthier, more manageable.
I don't know what to expect really. As I get into it, all this could change. So far, I have been met with friendly and accommodating people. Coworkers that always remember me at lunch, who bought me a plastic Christmas tree so I don't get homesick, and are simply fun to be around. Between them and my friend Hannah, who toured me through her neighborhood this first weekend, I don't feel so alone.
I have also started using rickshaws. On my first attempt, the driver stopped for gas and overshot the destination by about 10 minutes. Not the best start, but atleast he used the meter. I had to haggle with the second guy and he charged me the same amount that another guy drove for double the distance the next day. Ha, I guess you win some and lose some. As long as I get home, I am ok with everything. One thing to always remember is a scarf to cover your face from the dust and pollution. But it has to be colorfast! I don't want to look like Josh when we went into town during training. His face was covered with red towel dye. See the group pic in the previous post... Josh is the dude in the back with the rosy appearance. Poor guy looked like he had a gnarly rash. That was him after scrubbing his face for 5 mins. Ha.
I found myself straddling between two worlds this past week, one of newness, hope and risk. The other consisted of the past, all the warm memories and comfort in recalling what has come before. It is a strange place to be. There is an unfettered amount of hope and change, but I find I need something that grounds me to my identity. A definition of who I am in a place that I have no real history with.
I started this week so nervous about the project. It is still very vague and ambiguous as to what I will be doing. And it is only for 6 months, which seems like a long time especially after my last job, but the average NGO moves slower than the corporate world. The need for patience is something I am actively harnessing. I told the guys at Quest that I just want to listen and absorb the first week. I want to talk to everyone in the office, organize some structured interview sessions and just read content. I want to understand the culture and ultimately fit into it, but I also am weary of tainting the pot. I don't want to bring the corporate world sprint to an organization that seems productive enough and happy to boot. If anything, that is my big lesson to learn, how to manage a healthy work environment.
The key to this work is relationship building. Much of what I will be testing is my ability to open up to my coworkers. It takes courage and is something I am not wholly comfortable with. I have always thought of myself as a worker bee, dedicated to a project, knowing that it probably isn't balanced but never having a name for the problem. But now I am starting to understand. Brian, one of the fellows, passed along some advice, he said I should step forward as me first and designer second. He's right, I have never done it that way. I have always tried to prove to myself or to others that I can get shit done, that adding me to a team was a good choice. It doesn't have to be mutually exclusive.
I like this NGO space I have found myself in. It is a space of open source and collaboration. Competition is seen as opportunity for partnerships. Learnings are learnings for everyone and should be shared to benefit the greater good. There is no IP and no overarching ego. Collaboration is the elbow grease and empathy is the engine. It may not be as productive as what I have been apart of in the past and challenges will surely unfold, but the tone seems healthier, more manageable.
I don't know what to expect really. As I get into it, all this could change. So far, I have been met with friendly and accommodating people. Coworkers that always remember me at lunch, who bought me a plastic Christmas tree so I don't get homesick, and are simply fun to be around. Between them and my friend Hannah, who toured me through her neighborhood this first weekend, I don't feel so alone.
I have also started using rickshaws. On my first attempt, the driver stopped for gas and overshot the destination by about 10 minutes. Not the best start, but atleast he used the meter. I had to haggle with the second guy and he charged me the same amount that another guy drove for double the distance the next day. Ha, I guess you win some and lose some. As long as I get home, I am ok with everything. One thing to always remember is a scarf to cover your face from the dust and pollution. But it has to be colorfast! I don't want to look like Josh when we went into town during training. His face was covered with red towel dye. See the group pic in the previous post... Josh is the dude in the back with the rosy appearance. Poor guy looked like he had a gnarly rash. That was him after scrubbing his face for 5 mins. Ha.
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